On Grief

Tonight my sweet girl Annie crossed the rainbow bridge after a wonderful 12.5 years.

She was a spunky little ball of fluff who loved apples, peanut butter, bread, and cheese, who loved to sunbathe in the grass outdoors, and who loved to boss us around. She was a mama's girl, and the rest of us were her measly servants.

She was a feisty and hyper girl in her younger days, only for older age to be full of wiseness and gentleness befitting of someone whose lived beyond their years.

Early 2012

After accidentally consuming rat poisoning which scared us to death, suffering through a bout of pancreatitis, she later developed diabetes, cataracts (to which she later become blind), and Cushing's Disease.

But that never stopped her. She remained the same. She kept kicking. While she couldn't jump as high as she used to with her hips not being as strong as they used to be, and needed assistance getting up onto couches and beds, it never stopped her from doing anything else. She was still a healthy and sprightly girl.

Before, you were the one excited to see us. Every time we'd come home, you'd greet us the same way without fail. You'd jump and bark and smile and greet us as if it were you're first time seeing us no matter how many times days and years had passed. But these past few years have been a role reversal. Now we would come home more excited and happy to see you. When we'd come home, the first thing we'd do is enthusiastically call out your name and look for you.

Seeing you after waking up each morning and coming home from classes each day was the highlight of day.

May 4, 2023

Since 2011, she would always be there. She was my first pet. She was there as I finished elementary school and started middle school. She was there as we moved from Florida to Texas. She was there as I started and finished high school. She was there as I started college, questioned what I wanted to do with my life, and changed my major. She was there as my other sisters graduated from college and started their own career.

Just hours before I had held her in my arms like a baby.

July 28, 2024

At least I know that we gave her the best life she could ever had. We spoiled her rotten and did everything we could for her to make sure she was happy and comfortable. I now keep a picture of her that I took the day before she passed along with a tuft of her fur, and a card with her nose print and final paw prints on my desk. Our mantle, once empty for all these years, now holds pictures of you.

Her final paw prints, nose print, and a tuft of her fur

For now all I can do is reminisce the good memories and time I had with her and hope that she is happy, running around the backyard wherever she is now.